He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord. — Philemon 16
I mentioned yesterday that family took on newer and deeper meanings to us after my wife and I moved to Seoul. This wasn’t only the closeness and respect shared among our immediate family. All of us began to learn the value of becoming family with others outside our biological family.
All of us have developed deep relationships with people who have, in a very real sense, become family. Many of these “family members” join us for holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving. And all of us welcome and receive them as one of us. And because we have all grown in our personal self-awareness, we don’t feel inhibited; we are just ourselves, warts and all. One of our adopted family members referred to this transparency as nakedness. Not literally, you understand! But open, vulnerable, and real.
One of the greatest marks of Christian maturity is seen in the relationships in our families. As parents, this may very well be the acid test of our maturity in Christ. How do we relate to our children? Is it on the basis of rules and regulations or maturing relationships that seek to understand each other? I’m not discounting the need for rules, but the goal is to build relationships that lead to emotionally healthy children. And emotionally healthy parents!
There is a lack of connectedness in the church today. If they don’t watch church at home in their pajamas with a cup of coffee, people tend to come, find their seat, maybe take a few notes on the sermon, and go home or out to eat. What connectedness there is often revolves around particular doctrines, denominational and political camps, or worship and music styles.
But genuine Christian maturity happens in community as we enter into authentic relationships with others. Believers are belongers, as my pastor said in her sermon this morning. The Lord’s Prayer teaches us to pray in plural pronouns - our Father, give us, our bread, our trespasses, and so on. To be cut off from family is to be alone. “It is not good,” God says, “for people to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18)
Prayer
Father, help me to build closer family relationships. Grant me the courage to be more vulnerable and open with the ones I love. May I be less controlling and more nurturing, knowing that the lives of my loved ones are in your hands. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Click here to learn more about Philemon: Reflections on Christian Maturity.
In Christ,
Dan