I’m a huge U2 fan. My last night in Seoul, I attended the first-ever U2 concert in Korea with some good friends. It was a great send-off after over a decade of ministry in a country and among a people I grew to love dearly.
U2 has been severely criticized for years by many in the church, and to be honest, I was one of their early critics. Sell-outs watering down the gospel for personal popularity and profit - that’s how these young rockers from Ireland were described by many Christians. But over the years, as I’ve grown in my understanding of the often mysterious ways of God’s kingdom, I’ve recognized the grace and genius of U2.
In recent days, one of U2’s more popular songs, “Vertigo,” has been spinning round and round in my head - literally. I’ve been in bed with a bad case of vertigo. For the first twenty-four hours, I could not open my eyes. The room would not stay still. After taking medicine prescribed by my doctor, I am able to wobble to the bathroom and back. Thankfully, I am also able to grab a bottled water from the fridge. But no food. My appetite is non-existent. Reading and writing are possible but tiring. In short, I am miserable.
Meanwhile, round and round goes the song in my head - “Hello, hello, I’m at a place called vertigo, it’s everything I wish I didn’t know.”
Why God has chosen to allow my world to go spinning out of control, I don’t know. What I do know is it’s always better to ask God what rather than why. And that’s what I’ve been doing.
Since my totally unexpected and unplanned but divinely appointed retirement from the active pastorate, I have wrestled with what it is God has next for my life and ministry. Honestly, I feel like a fish out of water. Between the global pandemic and my growing differences with evangelicals who seem more catalyzed by politics and doctrinal exactness than the love and grace of God found in Jesus, the usual opportunities and places for ministry are no longer there for me. At least, they hold no appeal.
And so, lying here on my back, I’ve been asking God, “What?”
I can’t tell you that God has given me a clear and definitive answer. It’s always easier to look back and see God’s hand in our lives than it is to clearly recognize what the Lord is doing in the present time. But I do believe there is a purpose in this time.
I’ll share more about what I believe that purpose is in the days ahead. In so doing, I hope to speak directly with those of you who are experiencing your own vertigo in regard to the state of today’s church and your place in it.
Stay tuned.
In Christ,
Dan
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Praying for you to be healed Pastor Dan!